1. You smell of alcohol, like, 95 per cent of the time.


2. Your bank account is empty three days after pay day and you resort to being nice to customers just to have tips so you can eat.

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3. You have developed perfection at sarcasm and dark humour after repeatedly having to deal with stupid customers who insist on ignoring your pleas to NOT LIFT A DRINK OFF THE TRAY PLEASE.

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4. Random spurts of dancing at work are a common occurrence.

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5. You have a go-to facial expression when, during a busy Saturday night shift, someone orders seven different cocktails. One. At. A. Time.

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6. You spend your pay getting drunk and tipping bar staff to forget the horrible shifts you’ve just endured.

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7. You fall asleep on your way home from work, but wake yourself up shouting a question to an imaginary customer.

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7. You form countless enemies on the weekend because customers can’t wait their turn/ are so drunk they can’t taste the alcohol in their double vodka and soda/ think they can get a discount by flirting/ click their fingers at you.

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8. You dream for quiet Mondays so it feels like you’re living in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

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9. Customers ask you what your real job is, like, all the time.

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10. Your diet pretty much consists of crisps, mixed nuts and olives.

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